As I reflect on my “SELAH journey” I wonder….. where do I begin?
Do I begin this reflection as a 20 year old starry-eyed bride? Or the next nearly two decades of exhausting all of my soul, mind, and strength into holding this beautiful institution of God’s design together? Fixing my marriage became my sole purpose for living, but my efforts were failing. I felt hopeless, helpless, confused, and trapped.
Gripped in fear and severe depression, my body began to physically break down causing debilitating panic attacks, I couldn’t sleep or eat. I became very sick, I wanted to die. I began counseling, and made an appointment with my doctor. My doctor ordered panels of blood tests, hooked me up to a heart monitor, but the answers to my physical
symptoms were more than medical.
My counselor suggested I reach out to SELAH. I looked it up, and completely confused, I confronted him. “This is a support group for victims of domestic abuse. I came to you so that you could help me change and become a better (good enough) spouse to improve my marriage.” He simply responded by encouraging me to meet with others who may be able to speak into my life. Abuse was a terrifying word I would never have used to describe as a cause for the problems in my marriage. I was convinced my counselor was delusional, but I thought I would visit SELAH to see what it was about, because who knows, maybe it would be a good resource for me to share with others who ACTUALLY might need it.
At SELAH, Sherry and Vicki began by using curriculum and tools to define power and control. As I returned to SELAH week after week, I discovered that God loves me more than the institution that I was dying to keep together. That my identity was not defined by the success or failure of my relationships and experiences. God used SELAH to empower me to seek safety and healing. Years later, SELAH continues to strengthen my roots in the soil of grace where I am growing to be the woman God created me to be. SELAH is ground zero, where victims become survivors who grow together changing lives and building lasting relationships.